68943

Joke of the Day

"Tourist: Is this 99 Main Street? Resident: No it's 66 but we turn it upside down to confuse people."

"Decided to burn a lot of calories today so I'm thinking of setting a fat kid on fire."

"A Thought About Posthumous Autobiographies They're all ghost-written."

"I used to think my neighbors were racist but that thoughtful burning cross they put in my yard proved to be a great source of natural light."

"How does every racist joke start? By looking over you shoulders."

"It is crazy easy to buy a birthday cake. Even if it is no one's birthday. They don't even check."

"Heard on Haight St. the other day: Why didnt the lifeguard save the drowning hippie? Cause he was just too far out, man. Edit: I work on Haight St. This was in exchange for one cigarette."

"Royal Canadian Mounted Police (""Mountie"") joke Did you hear about the near-sighted Mountie?...He tied his whistle to a tree and blew his horse."

"when I played the Sims if a sim got hungry/tired I'd just delete them and replace them with a copy who was content so maybe no kids for me"

"If Chick fil A and Five Guys ever merged... they could call it Five Guys fil a Chick"