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Joke of the Day

"Jesus rose on the third day. He then went over to the men and said... ""Hola, senor! What is my job?"""

"My friends are starting to figure out that I got Botox in my forehead because I can't raise my eyebrows. Why am I not surprised?"

"I swallowed my wrist watch by accident yesterday, Harry. Good heavens! Does it hurt? Only when I wind it."

"I hate it when people compare Freddy Mercury to God. I mean God is great and all but he's no Freddy Mercury"

"What is Apple's favorite song? ""Hit the Road Jack"""

"What is a Mathematician specializing in absolute numbers called? A Sith."

"What did Tommy Wiseau say when he got an A on his final? Oh, hi Marks!"

"What did the Jewish pedophile say to the children? Want to buy a piece of candy?"

"Did you hear about the overweight, alcoholic transvestite? He liked to eat, drink, and be Mary."

"Women with large breasts are generally more successful than men with large breasts."