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Joke of the Day

"What is a Mathematician specializing in absolute numbers called? A Sith."

"Sorry I'm late, guys. SOMEbody.. *gestures at wife* told me this knife fight started at.. *sees everyone holding guns* FANtastic, Ellen"

"So there was a kidnapping in one of the local schools Teacher woke him up though."

"What do you call a Muslim who is notoriously late for everything? 9/12"

"What shoes did the pedophile wear? White vans hah"

"If you have rectal cancer and it's treated with radiation therapy... Is that a Rem job?"

"LE NEW JOKE??? AWWW YEHP"

"The bottom of my shoes fell off today You could say they're ginger snapped. I think it was cause I ran into the beat boys and then got lost in their rock and roll"

"[Date] (don't let her know you're an alien larva) Her: I wonder where he is? *I burst through her chest* Me: Did you order yet? I'm starved"

"Which kind of ink do you put in your computer's printer? Black Red or Iced? Iced Ink? Well yes you do but I didn't want to mention it."