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Joke of the Day

"Exterminators: The only profession in which you put yourself out of business by being really good at your job."

"can a women make you a millionaire? yes,if you are a billionaire!"

"I hate it when I'm trying to discreetly pick a wedgie in public and inadvertently end up doing every dance routine from Spice World."

"What did Sherlock ask his friend when he wanted to know what they were having for dinner? Watson the menu"

"I like my women like I like my coffee Ground up and put in a freezer"

"This guy told me that he can see the future but he didn't even try to duck when I punched him in the face."

"Why are ISIS fighters afraid to join the TEA Party? They're afraid they'll be audited by the IRS."

"Why do the lawyers for the reindeer say they have to pull Santa's sled? Because they have a claus in their contract."

"I bought a Valentine's Day card for everyone at our local Tourette's Society. It's the thought that cunts."

"I just gave my kid ice cream because she wouldn't stop crying. Sorry, whoever she winds up marrying."