180215

Joke of the Day

"Why are ISIS fighters afraid to join the TEA Party? They're afraid they'll be audited by the IRS."

"How do you know when you're watching too much porn? Your MILF tells you so."

"What does Happy Meal and a lonely girl have in common? They both come with a toy in the box."

"[stubs toe] ""GOD DAMMIT"" God: No problem, bro. [toe goes to Hell]"

"""Where will you see yourself in 15 years?"" A Mirror"

"You in the crosswalk: I stopped for you. I stopped. I'm stopped. I won't unstop. Don't look at me. Just walk. Go. For the love of God."

"I Work At Sears And Some Black Guys Came In Asking For Polyester Pants It's weird because they usually pick cotton."

"Scientists are close to re-enacting The Big Bang theory. Hope its got another hot blonde with nice tits in it."

"Who was that on the phone Fred? Fred: No one important. Just some man who said it was long distance from Australia so I told him I knew that already and put the phone down !"

"Help me practice my knife throwing skills. You catch."