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Joke of the Day

"Whats that when you keep moving constantly produces something white ? Its toothbrush dear dirty minded people.."

"Kinda creepy that my kids got in a screaming match over which one is my favorite since I don't have any kids."

"My wife's favorite position is the one where I lie very still wearing nothing but a toe tag and she starts dating again."

"Girls, your friends lied when they said chopping your hair off looked cute. They are just happy that their man wont want to bang you"

"I love it when you call me Medium Poppa! Throw your hands in the air if you's a moderately attractive single lady with no kids or debt!"

"If da Vinci were alive today, the ""Mona Lisa"" would have been called ""IMG-20121020-00463.jpg"""

"I just ate dark chocolate. Does that mean I'm rich?"

"What is the difference between memory and ram? I can't memory my weiner in your mouth."

"What did Aaron Hernandez lose when after he got cut by the Patriots His TE"

"a group of ducks are gathered around a ouija board. the glass slowly moves, B-R-E... *the ducks tense up* ...A-D *ducks go fuckin nuts*"