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Joke of the Day

"Whats a sign a subreddit has strong moderation? [removed]"

"Ladies, wonder if he's busy or ignoring your texts? Offer to send nudes. If he instantly responds, he was totally ignoring you before."

"Why did the hipster burn his tounge on his coffee? Cus he drank it before it was cool..."

"What do you call a horny lightbulb? Illumi-naughty. ;)"

"How many NRA members does it take to stop a 6-year-old paraplegic from stealing a candy bar? Nobody knows - they usually lose count at 800 rounds."

"A goldfish is a great pet if you're wanting to be forced to explain death to your toddler sometime within the next 48 hours."

"They just arrested my favorite shoe salesman thinking he was a drug lord. They said all the shoes were laced and everyone was trippin."

"What happened when Jesus went to mount Olive? Popeye fucking smacked him one."

"I saw my friend chopping up onions I couldn't stop crying ever since. Onions was such a good friend of mine."

"Making dinner in a slow cooker involves two of my favorite things: food and panicking that I've left an appliance on for seven hours."