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Joke of the Day

"A goldfish is a great pet if you're wanting to be forced to explain death to your toddler sometime within the next 48 hours."

"Onion is not the only thing that makes you cry! My friend thinks he is smart. He told me that an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face and he began to cry. haha"

"The best way to communicate with a fish is to drop them a line."

"kid theres no such thing as bad publicity. like you would think if a big article came out saying you suck shit it would be bad, but its good"

"I don't get why people say ""Pussy tastes great""... I've licked 5 of them, Then I got Cat hair in my mouth"

"What's the difference ? What's the difference between getting your girlfriend pregnant and asking how her day went? There is no difference, you always regret both!"

"A woman with a strong accent walks into a bar. Going in to order a drink, she asks for a beer. The bartender says ""Anheizer Busch?"" The woman says: ""Good! And how's your prick?"""

"So a termite walks into a bar. He then proceeds to ask, ""where's the bar tender""?"

"Go to subway and order the Jared Fogle. 38 year old meat between 10 year old buns."

"Why can't Admiral Ackbar fly to Hawaii? ""Aloha Ackbar"" doesn't go over well at the airport"