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Joke of the Day

"I'm writing this from the hospital Don't worry! The doctors say I'm going to be OK but I must warn you. The Dyson Ball Cleaner has a very misleading name!"

"An Apple a day may keep the Doctor away!!!... But an Onion a day keeps Everybody away!!!"

"I hate when I put food in the microwave and it starts making explosive noises so I check and it's still cold. Why you gotta be so childish?"

"So about that guy with the premature ejaculation problem.... ...i heard he comes out of nowhere"

"Put a pill in wife's mouth while asleep ""WTF you doing?"" ""for your headache."" ""I don't have one!"" Just what I wanted to hear! *unzip flys"

"A Clinton is running for POTUS, a Jurassic Park movie dominated the summer box office, and they found a knife on OJ's property. It's 1994."

"I'll never forget my Granddad's last words before he kicked the bucket. 'How far do you reckon I can kick this bucket?'"

"In some parts of the world, it's considered rude to be a woman."

"Your dad is a motherfucker"

"Why are shopaholics in the UK generally very skinny? Because they are always losing pounds."