14359

Joke of the Day

"I'm writing this from the hospital Don't worry! The doctors say I'm going to be OK but I must warn you. The Dyson Ball Cleaner has a very misleading name!"

"A redhead tells her blonde sister, ""I slept with a Brazilian..."" The blonde replies: ""Oh My Gosh! You slut! How many is a Brazilian?"""

"What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizzas didn't scream when Hitler put them in the oven."

"Want to meet up so I can excite your natural frequency?"

"WIFE: no no no I loved your vows I just thought you could've used the word 'bloodthirsty' a little less"

"*wears one gryffindor and one slytherin sock to work to represent the internal human struggle between good and evil*"

"Love is one long sweet dream... and marriage is the alarm clock."

"A toothless termite walks into a bar and asks... ""Is the bar tender here?"""

"*angrily whispering over crib* ""Sheila you know I was raised by wolves. I have to pay it forward."" ""But why do they need their own cribs?"""

"Apparently everyone was too high in the 70's when Grease came out to notice that every ""student"" at Rydell High looked like they were 35"