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Joke of the Day
"My wife said I should stop telling jokes because my punchlines are always shit. Shit."
Next Joke
"It's kind of obvious why Western countries don't eat cat Can you imagine how costly it must be to kill the same animal 9 times before you can eat it?"
"Stupid people have it made. Nobody expects anything from them and when they do something right people act like they cured cancer."
"I was going to sue U2 for stealing one of my songs But I found out my lawyer was pro-bono."
"Worst part of my old job was drug screenings. Had to tell a guy he was pregnant. Lesson: don't use your girlfriend's urine for testing."
"What are your guys' best Cards Against Humanity answers?"
"You're not in a serious relationship until he leaves you in a room alone with his phone."
"You know when your a procrastinator when... You're"
"What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye matey"
"""Whoever smelt it, dealt it"" - a handy tip when trying to track down large metal suppliers."