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Joke of the Day

"*wears one gryffindor and one slytherin sock to work to represent the internal human struggle between good and evil*"

"What do elves learn in school? The elf-abet."

"My wife wants me to get my coffee at home to save money. If she really wants me to save money she should give me sex at home."

"First time I ever saw a dry-erase board I said ""that's remarkable."""

"Why did the elephant paint his balls red? To hide in a cherry tree.... What makes the loudest noise in the jungle? A monkey picking cherries."

"The difference between a rooster and a lawyer? When the rooster wakes, his primal urge is to cluck defiance."

"A young boy walked up to his father and asked, ""Dad, does a lawyer ever tell the truth?"" The father thought for a moment. ""Yes, son. Sometimes a lawyer will do anything to win a case."""

"Hey Guinevere *knight flips up his visor* Hast thou considered my proposal? Because *unsheathes blade* I'm sword of a big deal."

"What do you call a black person on the moon? An astrounaut you racist bastard!"