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Joke of the Day
"Love is one long sweet dream... and marriage is the alarm clock."
Next Joke
"Thank god the ""S"" on my keyboard doesn't work... It means I can apply for jobs and they think I'm just an ex-offender."
"i like how at the end of old movies it says the end' so you arent horrorstruck by the thought of a fictional universe persisting unobserved"
"What's stronger, fifty watts of sound or fifty watts of light? I don't care but would you please stop screaming, turning the lights on and off."
"New diet plan: murder all the skinny people."
"What do you call an Arnold Palmer with vodka? A John Daly"
"I once tried to pick up a lady with a sausage joke.. ..I don't think it could have gone any wurst"
"I only got one match, but I can make an explosion. And now the government thinks I'm a terrorist."
"Only God can judge me. *gets hit by lightning*"
"Have you heard about the sequel to the Exorcist ? In the new version, a woman hires the Devil to get a priest out of her son."