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Joke of the Day

"A redhead tells her blonde sister, ""I slept with a Brazilian..."" The blonde replies: ""Oh My Gosh! You slut! How many is a Brazilian?"""

"Went to get coffee for a coworker. I effed up the order, but used it as a teaching opportunity to illustrate the dangers of outsourcing."

"I tried to join the local hide and seek club today But I couldn't find them"

"The Alzheimer Society of Ireland is commemorating 30 years this year... ...or is it 40?"

"[SPELLING BEE] JUDGE: Tim, your word is ""Oak"" TIM: [deep breath] Ok *BUZZER* T: What th J: So close! It's O-'A'-K T: But... J: Hard luck, kid"

"cute girl just saw me try to walk and drink water at the same time so dating her is off the table now"

"What would the punishment be for smoking a joint in the times of Jesus Christ? You would get stoned. And then get rocks thrown at you."

"girl: tough guys are hot Me: *hawk lands on my bare arm* I have a gauntlet I just never use it *hawk gnawing on my shoulder* I love this"

"Went to our annual work party last night... They played 'The Twist' so I twisted. They played 'Jump' so I jumped. Then they played 'Come on Eileen'...I was asked to leave shortly after that."

"What did Jay-Z call Knowles before getting married? his biancee"