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Joke of the Day
"Me: *breathes* *gains weight*"
Next Joke
"A child asks: ""Mom, why do women wear white on their wedding day?"" Mom: Well, they wear white because it's the happiest day of their life. Child: Then why does the man wear black?"
"I am not a vegetarian because i love animals but i am a vegetarian because i hate plants"
"Who the hell decided ""have a happy period"" was an okay thing to write on maxi pads? ""NOT WORTH THE JAIL TIME"" would have been more relevant."
"Coworker: Ugh, the coffee is too strong Me: There is no strong coffee. Just weak people."
"My girlfriend accused me of being big-headed and thinking I was better than I was. I nearly fell off my throne."
"Why did the man bring his jar of jam to the abortion clinic? He had trouble unscrewing it."
"Remember that someone out there is thinking of you right now, figuring out how to make your death look like an accident."
"""I broke my arm!"" Said Napoleon Bone apart"
"Chinese people have small eyes but.... At least its big enough to see their penis."