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Joke of the Day

"Coworker: Ugh, the coffee is too strong Me: There is no strong coffee. Just weak people."

"What's the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman ? One is a super hero and the other is a simple command."

"My Girlfriend used to go down on me all the time... ...so I fixed the puncture"

"[girl's night out] WIFE: I'm off then ME: Okay WIFE: Don't do anything obtuse ME: Pfft - give me a break! {5 min later} ME *googling obtuse*"

"Liam Neeson's wife asks him to do some household chores Taken: Out the Garbage"

"Did you mean pacific or specific? Cuz seriously, one is an ocean."

"What do you want to be when you graduate high school? ""No more than 25"" from Gary Muledeer"

"I have never once hit a drink or treated one badly so don't tell me about alcohol abuse!"

"Why did the donut go to the dentist? To get a filling!"

"Shouting ""put your hands in the air like you just don't care!"" is a fun way to bring a party atmosphere to a bank robbery."