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Joke of the Day

"A child asks: ""Mom, why do women wear white on their wedding day?"" Mom: Well, they wear white because it's the happiest day of their life. Child: Then why does the man wear black?"

"54% of IKEA purchases end in divorce."

"Twitter is the ideal medium for people who think of something clever to say five minutes after the opportunity has passed."

"invemtor of fruit-by-the-foot: [stares blankley at a roll of toilet paper for hours] WAIT I'VE GOT IT"

"The most racist joke I know. What do you call 3 Puerto Ricans, 1 Chinese Man, and 4 black guys? A water sprinkler."

"When that guy on the train woke up and stretched, I don't think he liked it when I scratched his head and said ""Who's a big kitty?!"""

"There are rumors that Robert Pattinson from the ""Twilight"" movies may be the next Indiana Jones. If there is one thing I want with my rugged action heroes, it's a little bit of sparkle!"

"Have you heard what they say about luck? It could be raining pussy and I'd get slapped in the face with a sweaty dick."

"There was a sailor on a ship that was discovered to be gay. When the others found out they tossed him off."

"What did one poop say to the other poop? You smell"