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Joke of the Day

"A child asks: ""Mom, why do women wear white on their wedding day?"" Mom: Well, they wear white because it's the happiest day of their life. Child: Then why does the man wear black?"

"Doctor told me I have cirrhosis of liver How am I going to cure my alcohol addiction now!"

"So I post a link showing Russian agents trying to sell nuclear material to ISIS Gets no up votes, dog and cat videos on front page of reddit. Reddit."

"What is the last step in manufacturing Tickle-Me-Elmo's before packaging and shipping to stores? Give it two test-tickles."

"Every time I drive past a hitchhiker I feel kinda bad thinking maybe they're just liking my status."

"Ate a hot dog at the food court today and four gay men gave me a standing ovation."

"So I was at a book store the other day and I saw a Vietnamese cookbook... It was called ""How to Wok Your Dog""."

"HOW TO BEAT YOUR COMPUTER AT CHESS WITHIN 5 SECONDS: just set the difficulty to OBAMA.It will never come up with a strategy."

"What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air ? A seahorse !"

"If you're going to have a beer with Russian's You better Czech yourself before you wreck yourself. Edit:FUCK I JUST REALIZED HOW BAD THIS JOKE IS"