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Joke of the Day

"A warm toilet seat... A warm toilet seat is like fucking a prostitute. It feels amazing at first but you can't help but wonder who was there before you."

Next Joke
 
"step 1. log onto instagram step 2. find wedding day hashtags, ex. ""SmithWedding2014"" step 3. use hashtag step 4. post pictures of yaks"
"I wonder how many people on Tumblr only watch TV shows so they can find things to make into GIFs."
"Alien: take me to your leader. Me: They all suck. How about I take you to this place I know where you can get amazing mini donuts?"
"I kept pouring water on my Iphone.. because Siri won't tell me where the terrorists are."
"Niagara Falls A guide was showing Niagara-Falls to a man from Texas and said; I'll bet you don't have anything like this in Texas. The Texan said; nope, but in Texas we have plumbers who can fix it."
"What do you call a Mexican bodybuilder without a protein shake? No whey Jose"
"THERE ARE 7 BILLION PEOPLE IN THE WORLD. WHY WOULD YOU HAVE SEX WITH KITCHENWARE? Oh, that's not what pansexual means. Carry on then."
"Hey, everybody under 25 just shut up for like FIVE minutes."
"I don't always take the derivative of x^2.... But when I do, it's dos equis."
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