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Joke of the Day

"THERE ARE 7 BILLION PEOPLE IN THE WORLD. WHY WOULD YOU HAVE SEX WITH KITCHENWARE? Oh, that's not what pansexual means. Carry on then."

"I was going to write a novel but I may just print out all my tweets and dedicate it to my parents not loving me enough."

"Man is incomplete until he's married. Then he's finished."

"What's the best part about dating a black girl? You don't have to meet her father."

"I've been offered a new, highly demanding job testing the new Super-strength Viagra'. I think I'll take it, how hard can it be?"

"The NSA hired Sarah Palin so she could keep an eye on Edward Snowden"

"Is it okay to hate a certain race? I can run a 5k pretty well but these 10ks are killing me."

"""Whoa nice car"" Thanks. I dropped 40K on a new set of wheels [whispers to friend] ""What kind of idiot spends $40,000 on tires"""

"You are what you eat. Is that why I am a human?"

"What's the difference between Mic Jagger and a Scotsman? Mic Jagger says ""Hey you, get off of my cloud"". A Scotsman says ""Hey, McLeod! Get off of my ewe!"""