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Joke of the Day

"One of the babies on the Intensive Care Unit is playing with a toy donkey ICU baby, shaking that ass."

"I got a black girlfriend now. I burned my hand on the stove."

"I tried explaining sarcasm to some kleptomaniacs but they always take things literally."

"Boy: *calls 911* Hello? I need your help! 911: Alright, What is it? Boy: Two girls are fighting over me! 911: So what's your emergency? Boy: The ugly one is winning."

"Why one's dick can be only 11 inches long? Because if it's longer, it's called a foot."

"What do you call a fat computer? A Dell."

"What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses? Bronchitis (bronc-itis)."

"What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? Well, I wouldn't pay $200 to have a lentil on my face"

"What did one hat say to the other hat? You wait here, I'm going to go on a head."

"Why does Mr Tayto carry a phone in his top pocket? In case Johnny Onion Rings!"