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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you cross a Jehovah's Witness and a Hells Angel? Someone who comes to your door and tells you to fuck off."

"when a skinny man goes diving what do you call it? skinny dipping"

"Why didn't the movie ticket get convicted of both of its crimes? It would only admit one."

"What do you call a wolf once its found A there wolf"

"Dude that's not a tire swing its a warning to other tires that trespass in my yard"

"How do you kill a book? You break its spine."

"911: 911, what seems to be the emergency? Me: My nephew just hit the wall while running 911: Haha Me: Haha 911: Ok paramedics are on the way"

"I told my girlfriend two sentences ""We need to buy a new car."" ""I am thinking about taking a break."" She started crying. I mean, she could have just said she didn't like that type of cars."

"Your baby was cute until I realized you're on the same flight as me. Now your baby is stupid."

"Aren't you glad you no longer have that ""Call Me Maybe"" song in your head? Oops. Sorry. #SoCallMeMaybe!"