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Joke of the Day

"If you're worried about not getting a New Year's Eve kiss this year, just remember Valentine's Day is coming up and you're probably going to be alone for that, too."

"I was looking at my bank statement and realized I was a .1 percent-er I don't know why anyone wants to be one, it's a crappy interest rate."

"How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Impossible. Feminists can't change anything."

"My wifes hair is so sexy, Its 50 shades of grey."

"How do you turn a duck into a soul singer? You put it in the oven until its Bill Withers."

"They took my mood ring... ...and I don't know how i feel about it."

"I tried my best to prepare my girlfriend for dinner with my folks - Dad loved her, so did my sis, but mum said she could've done with another hour or so on a low heat."

"What's the difference between Donald Trump and a bag of shit? The bag."

"Why did Moby Dick join a heavy metal band? He could really whale."

"Your mama so FAT32 She always takes 4096 bytes"