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Joke of the Day

"Who is a bee's favourite painter ? Pablo Beecasso !"

"6-year-old: *finds a picture she drew* Why was this in the trash? Me: 6: Me: It was too good. I didn't want to make your sisters jealous."

"My dick is like a dollar bill... About 6 inches long, 3 inches wide, and you should wash your hands after touching it"

"Yo momma so poor She opened up a gmail account so she could eat the spam."

"If optimus prime was a pokemon, what would his most used attacks be? Transform and rollout. (When you tell this to people wait and see if they guess it)"

"You know football is a big sport... ...now that you can buy hair gel that gives you the ""Messi look""."

"Did you hear about the Mexican Army's new weapons? Everyone was issued a nail gun."

"I went on the treadmill for 30 minutes today. Tomorrow I will turn it on."

"FBI: If you testify you'll have to go into the Witness Protection Program ME: I'll do it FBI: Your wife and kids too ME: Oh ok never mind"

"My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are But I laugh more."