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Joke of the Day

"Why couldn't the octopus take off her bra? It had suction cups."

"As there aren't any female leprechauns, where do leprechauns come from ~ something to ponder every St Patrick's Day"

"What did the psychiatrist say to the man who walked into her office wearing only cling wrap? I can clearly see you(')r(e) nuts."

"There are so many obnoxious people in the world, but do you know who really drives me to drink? Designated Drivers."

"What's brown and runny? Usain Bolt."

"so I used to read /r/nosleep to get scared Now all I have to do is remember than Hillary is still running"

"Do you know why there are so many great bakeries in Germany? They had to do *something* with all of the ovens."

"Scientist found out... once shown the exit."

"I brought a gun that shoots knives to a gun fight. Everybody was like whoa. We didn't even fight. Went to get nachos. Cool group of dudes."

"Why is history called His story? Because it's written by the Victors, not the Victorias."