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Joke of the Day

"Interview tip: maintain eye contact. If they try to look at documents, put your head between them and the documents."

"You know why T-Rex can't clap his hands? Because he's dead."

"I didn't fail my calculus test.... I just gave ""alternative"" answers on a few problems."

"If you want to piss off a narcissist, just tell 'em that subtweet wasn't about them."

"Harry Potter can't tell the difference between his cooking pot and his best friend. [X Post from r/Fantasy] They're both cauldron."

"Why is the bat-boy the luckiest guy on the baseball team? Because when he grows up he will be Batman."

"What did Professor X said when Cyclops whipped out his penis? ""Keep it in your Jeans"""

"What do gay horses eat? Haaaaaay!"

"I like dating chicks with kids, because snacks"

"What's the difference... ...between Mick Jagger and an angry Scotsman? One says ""Hey, you, get off of my cloud!"" The other says ""Hey, McLeod, get off of my ewe!"""