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Joke of the Day
"I didn't fail my calculus test.... I just gave ""alternative"" answers on a few problems."
Next Joke
"Had a big mix up at the store today, apparently when the clerk said ""strip down facing me,"" she meant my credit card."
"Four gay men walk into a bar, there is only one stool left so what do they do? Flip it over"
"My husband fell asleep while watching Memento...was shocked to find ""remember to NOT trust your wife"" written on his forehead with a Sharpie"
"This soup tastes funny Customer: Waiter, this soup tastes funny. Waiter: Funny? But then why aren't you laughing?"
"Congratulations to Amy Winehouse... ...on six months of sobriety."
"Why was the pilot dying? Because he had terminal cancer."
"What does a terrorist tell hes son? Aim to the sky, maybe you'll shoot a plane."
"So..... That thing on top ""i"" So the little dot on top of the letter i has a name.... You"
"""So, doctor, do I have cancer or not?"" ""Oh Jesus Christ, holy shit, tons of it,"" said the doctor to Martin Shkreli."