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Joke of the Day
"Whats blue and smells like red paint? blue paint"
Next Joke
"The way to treat women is always in your heart. Beat beat beat."
"I was so excited. Thought I found an M&M at the bottom of my purse. It was only an earbud. I ate it anyway."
"Why are portraits of George Washington displayed in British bathrooms? Because nothing makes the British shit quicker than the sight of George Washington"
"The ""eye for an eye"" philosophy isn't exactly a level playing field if your grievance is with a cyclops."
"I'm fat and get laughed at when I say I have an eating disorder But I wouldn't be fat if I could stop eating disorder, datorder, and da other one too"
"Me: You ate all the cookies and your sister got none. What does that tell you? 4-year-old: I won."
"I bought a white bathrobe and splattered it with red paint just to freak out my neighbors when I go get the mail."
"Lois Lane would probably be terrible at picking out the right suspect in a Police lineup."
"British Airways. Breakfast in London. Dinner in New York. Luggage in Tokyo."