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Joke of the Day

"Did you guys hear about the catastrophic genetic flower breeding program that tried to cross an aster and a daisy? It was a dais-aster."

"The NSA is to blame for obesity in The United States. Because the camera ads 10 pounds."

"Why are oceans called ""The High Seas""? Because of all the seaweed!"

"doc: how is your headache? she: he is doing fine."

"Why are redneck murders so hard to solve? There's no dental records and all the DNA matches"

"Unshakable Fact # 3 Having a cold drink on hot day with a few friends is nice, but having a hot friend on a cold night after a few drinks - Fucking PRICELESS."

"Did you hear the joke about the bees? Its a bit long to tell you now but I asure you it was very honey!"

"The fastest way to get to the front of the line at Starbucks is just to tell everyone you saw Adele outside."

"Why are people still calling my phone I thought we covered this at orientation..."

"My wife told me to give her 12"" and make her scream... So I did her 3 times in the poop chute and wiped my junk on the curtain. (can't remember where I stole this from)"