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Joke of the Day

"Nobody wants to talk about the elephant in the waiting room, but he has an appointment."

"Expeditions to Mars Russian expedition: ""Well, there is Mars."" American expedition: ""Well, there are the life forms. Disgusting"" Chinese expedition: ""Not if you know how to cook them properly"""

"How do you make five pounds of fat look good? Put a nipple on it.."

"Robin Williams. Did you hear about Robin Williams dying? They said it was arson but I doubtfire.."

"In a way, Han Solo was a bit like a modern Icarus. They both got too close to the son."

"Doctor: Have you quit smoking yet? Me: Has there been a string of unsolved murders in the news? Doctor: No. Me: Then, no, I haven't."

"Sure he's handsome, funny, smart, charming and successful, but can he fit 54 M&M's in his mouth at once? I didn' fink fo"

"This day in history. 1914. The first WWI trenches were dug if you don't count the one my grandfather was already hiding from the officers in"

"(Business) Mike: It's a sled. I call it the Mikesled. Bob: I have a better idea."

"What do you call a dead magician? Abra Cadaver."