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Joke of the Day

"Me: Why don't I have a boyfriend? God: I sent you one, you dumped him for putting ketchup on his steak. Me: Ah. That's right. Gross."

"A family walks into a hotel and the father goes to the front desk and says ""I hope the porn is disabled."" The guy at the desk replies. ""It's just regular porn you sick fuck."" Note: This is a bot test"

"I bought a new pair of polarizing sunglasses and was asking my friends what they thought of them. They seemed to either love them or hate them."

"Why are libraries so strict? Because they have to go by the book."

"There is a time and a place for accosting people with baguettes (2 p.m., Whole Foods)."

"A friend of mine told me that I should try and come up with a joke about Staircase Wit. I can't think of one right now, but I'm sure I'll think of a great one later."

"My dick is like an anchor... If it extends, I'm not going anywhere until it retracts."

"I hope fashion in the future isn't all like, weird metal bird outfits. Cuz a bunch of mine just got stolen."

"Why does the Mexican Olympic team always do so badly? Because anyone who can swim, run, or climb is already in America."

"What's better than winning a gold medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded."