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Joke of the Day
"A man walks into a bar. He then says ""ouch."""
Next Joke
"finally sold everything that reminded me of my ex. kinda nice, I got $20 for her clothes, $50 for her tv, and $100 for our kid"
"who wore it better: Russell Brand or Steven Tyler's microphone stand"
"All I'm saying is, the minute Canada starts refining its maple syrup reserves into weapons-grade Aunt Jemimium, we're all french toast."
"So a frog parked his car in a ""no parking"" zone..... His ride got toad away."
"[Cops have a warrant for my arrest] Cops: you're coming with us! *Plays the Benny Hill theme on my phone & runs away* Foot chase ensues."
"People like to put words in your mouth, predictive-text likes to put words in your phone."
"What do sex and air have in common? Neither one is a very big deal, unless you're not getting any."
"What's the difference between a chick pea and a garbanzo bean? Nobody pays to have a garbanzo bean on their face."
"I don't do drugs. I take drugs. My brain does the drugs. Follow me? Me either -because drugs"