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Joke of the Day

"All I'm saying is, the minute Canada starts refining its maple syrup reserves into weapons-grade Aunt Jemimium, we're all french toast."

"What does a dyslexic agnostic wonder about? Is there a dog?"

"The inflight movie on my trip home was Pixels. We had two walk outs."

"What do you call a Mexican crossed with an octopus? I don't know, but it sure can pick lettuce."

"How do you know if someone is a vegan? Because everyone around them will be giving them shit for it."

"A group of boulders joins Facebook... ...hikers and mountain climbers stay inside on Mondays and Wednesdays."

"Did you hear the creator of spaghetti died? He pasta way"

"Earth, Venus, Mars, and Jupiter were going to setup a party But they failed because nobody knew how to planet"

"The early bird waits in his car for 20 minutes so as not to seem desperate."

"Did you hear that Elton John is singing at Amy Winehouse's funeral reception? He will be singing ""Candle Under the Spoon""."