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Joke of the Day

"All I'm saying is, the minute Canada starts refining its maple syrup reserves into weapons-grade Aunt Jemimium, we're all french toast."

"How do you confuse a complete idiot ? 32"

"A friend came over visibly shaken. He said he had just slept with his 3rd cousin. I told him, if it upsets you that much quit counting them."

"What disease do neckbeard mosquitos give you? M'laria."

"Me: Sit. Dog: (confused dog look) Me: Stay! Dog: (continues packing suitcase)"

"When my girlfriend is angry, I go to Facebook and constantly refresh my relationship status to see if I'm single again."

"Women shouldn't have to be in prison for more than a month. Because their period should be the end of their sentence."

"I'm not racist Because racism is a crime. And crime is for black people."

"What kind of sick fuck figured out that you can make a cake out of carrots?"

"how do you circumcise a hillbilly? you kick his sister in the jaw. yee haw!!"