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Joke of the Day

"finally sold everything that reminded me of my ex. kinda nice, I got $20 for her clothes, $50 for her tv, and $100 for our kid"

"I'm guessing that most people who claim to ""count calories"" are really bad at math."

"Reddit thread: What's The Coolest Thing On the Internet I Can Buy for Under $100? http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/wyozq/what_is_the_coolest_thing_i_can_buy_on_the/c5hp9rg"

"I got dressed... I'm a changed man now."

"It seems like every year I wind up eating leftovers from Thanksgiving until weeks afterwards. Not this year though, I'm quitting cold turkey."

"days 'til xmas Today is December 10th, there is is only 14 shoplifting days til xmas. Now get out there"

"The mantra to a successful relationship find someone who likes the same thermostat setting as you do."

"20 years ago we had Johnny Cash Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope and no Jobs. Please dont let Kevin Bacon die!"

"My wife bought me a second hand watch for my birthday... Anyway, better be going. The football starts in... 1200 seconds."

"Do you want to make a small fortune? Start with a large fortune and open a restaurant."