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Joke of the Day

"A prickle of porcupines A murder of crows A flamboyance of flamingos A twitter of depressed, alcoholic perverts A shrewdness of apes A parla"

"It's amazing how little information I need on someone before I decide I don't like them!!!"

"who said math is the universal language? hey, numbers-- speak english!"

"Nice try, operating instructions. Nice try. I've got this. *grabs a hammer*"

"Why can't you have multi-story buildings in China? That would be wong on so many levels!"

"What do you call an acid trip so hard that it gives you visions of the future? Psychic-delic."

"[stranded on Mars journal] day 1: rob and I have enough oatmeal to last us 300 days day 2: I ate rob"

"What is a toilet in Ancient Mexico? Aztec."

"Why is there a fence around the graveyard? Because people are dying to get in!"

"I asked my Sushi Chef what his favorite roll was. . he said payroll."