141975

Joke of the Day

"When you get to Customs and they ask if you have anything to declare, ""Thumb War"" is not the answer they were looking for."

"[Ouija board] GRANDMA WHERE IS YOUR COOKIE RECIPE"

"I can just about tolerate pens... ...but I have to say I draw a line with pencils."

"There are two types of people in this world: people who pee in the shower and liars."

"How do you tittilate an ocelot? Oscillate its tit a lot."

"Friday, I've tried to see other days and none compare to you, I love you."

"I used to accidentally hold hands with strangers I mistook for my dad. It's slightly weirder now that I'm in my 20s and doing it on purpose."

"""You're fat, you smell bad, your teeth aren't as white as they should be, and your genitals are pathetic."" - Advertising"

"My dad got fired from the local calendar shop He kept taking days off"

"What is hairy and between your grandma's nipples? Her vagina"