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Joke of the Day

"If you cannot afford a stenographer, a 4 year old will be appointed for you to repeat exactly what you said at all times. Do you understand?"

"One day I'm going to cure blindness... You'll see. You'll all see!"

"When I'm feeling inadequate, I remember that there are women who marry their prison pen pals, and then my own decisions don't seem so bad."

"You remind me of my pinkie toe because I know I'm eventually going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my place."

"What kind of mushroom gets beat up the most? A shiitake mushroom"

"Forget drugs, with these new airline baggage fees I'm gonna have to start smuggling luggage up my asshole."

"You know Christa McAuliffe had blue eyes. One blue this way and one blue that way."

"It turns out vaccines cause cancer. You'll actually live long enough to get it."

"Most medicines have side effects... ...except Viagra has front effects. Good bye."

"Died twice today Screw you daylight savings"