141941

Joke of the Day

"My favorite part of football is when players ""look to God."" Because He's all, ""I can't do shit for the Middle East but I'm rooting for YOU."""

"You know who brings a knife to a gun fight? Cannibals. And also a fork."

"The internet is down at work. I took my top off and lit a campfire. Coyotes are near. I'll sacrifice Todd from HR. How do you hunt rabbit?"

"[breakup talk] H: Gimme one last chance! M: How can I trust you again? H: She meant nothing to me! M: Not that. You bought lite sour cream!"

"Woman are so emotional *throws a garbage can through my tv because a hockey team lost*"

"*gets stabbed ""Omg that knife was clean right??"""

"Why did Hitler kill himself? He got his gas bill."

"As a muslim, I'm sick of the 9/11 jokes because my parentd died too. They just weren't in the buildings."

"Praying is a lot like masturbation. It feels good to the person doing it but does nothing for the person being thought about."

"A soviet soldier asks a man his opinion of the party. The man nervously replies ""the same as yours comrade"" The soldier then arrests him for sedition."