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Joke of the Day

"The internet is down at work. I took my top off and lit a campfire. Coyotes are near. I'll sacrifice Todd from HR. How do you hunt rabbit?"

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"What's the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? A boy scout comes home from camp"
"""Why have a ballroom, with no Balls?"" -Disney's Frozen I paused the movie to tweet this..."
"How does constipation work? I don't give a shit."
"I accidently pooped myself in the elevator. I'm taking this shit to a whole new level."
"Fax? Why don't you just send it over on a dinosaur?"
"I told a Chinese guy that they always smell like Chinese food. He said ""aw that's lo, mein."""
"days 'til xmas Today is December 10th, there is is only 14 shoplifting days til xmas. Now get out there"
"You heard the rumor going around about butter? Never mind, I shouldn't spread it..."
"My dad taught me the importance of having convictions in life. Ten felonies later, I now know that some words have more than one meaning."