141697

Joke of the Day

"David Cameron walks into a sandwich shop with a pig... The shopkeeper says ""alright dave, pulled pork ?"" ""No mate, she's just a friend."""

"Hitler is judged very harshly by history, but... He did kill Hitler. Joke credit to Jimmy Carr on QI"

"You have to wait 30 days to buy a gun but Amazon Prime only takes 2 days to ship live bees, no questions asked."

"*buying teacher's gifts* 7: Mrs. J said she hates candles. Me: {recalling mountain of homework every night} Pumpkin Spice Candle it is then!"

"Politicians are like sperm.. one in a million turn out to be an actual human being."

"What's all this talk about Reddit's servers being down? Guess I can't see what everyone else sees."

"Do you enjoy interacting with people?"" ""Nope"" ""Great, you're hired!"" DMV interview process"

"Joke that will piss off any feminists how many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? None that's a man's job."

"I just saw a stage show about puns... It was a play on words."

"Imagine yourself, you just woke-up on the street without pants & underwear, with sperm dripping from your derriere, would you tell anyone? No? So what are you doing next weekend?"