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Joke of the Day
"Politicians are like sperm.. one in a million turn out to be an actual human being."
Next Joke
"I had to turn off my carbon monoxide detector... ...The constant beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick."
"Heard The Wall Street Journal just dropped Facebook stock results to the Comics Section"
"COP: ""Sir, do you know why I pulled you over?"" ME: ""It was way easier than solving a murder?"""
"What do you call a boat that gives you nothing but trouble? A woe boat."
"You can usually win any arm wrestling contest by simultaneously leaning in for a kiss."
"Doctor Doctor I'm scared of Father Christmas Doctor: You're suffering from Claus-trophobia."
"What's the difference between a gay man and a curling iron? The gay man won't burn your dick while he's curling your pubes."
"[job interview] How would you improve our business? ""Dude, I'd bankrupt you in a week. I'm just catchin Pokemon in your office."""
"Did you hear about the Guitar Player who got arrested last week? He was caught fingering A minor."