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Joke of the Day

"*buying teacher's gifts* 7: Mrs. J said she hates candles. Me: {recalling mountain of homework every night} Pumpkin Spice Candle it is then!"

"If the Fresh Prince owned an airline, what would it be called? BelAir"

"Q: What does a blonde say when you asked her what the last two words of the national anthem are? A: Play ball."

"What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? You can't peanut butter your dick into someones ass"

"There should be a morning after pill for Supreme Court decisions."

"What color were Hitler's shits? Eva Brown!"

"So I was nailing my girl from behind ... After we were done she turns to me and says. ""my friends tell me you are a pedophile."" To which I reply ""That is an awfully big word for a 10 year old"""

"A man takes his wife out to dinner one night. The wife says, ""I want you to treat me like a princess."" The husband drives his Mercedes into a wall."

"Why don't black people go on cruises? they won't fall for that one again"

"Beyonce didn't almost fall everyone else just messed up"