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Joke of the Day
"Why did the spider land on the keyboard? She wanted a new website."
Next Joke
"The first time I made love to Kate I thought of my late wife, Susan. I thought, this'll teach her to be late"
"What happens when a mean girl dies? They write an o-bitch-uary"
"Margaret Thatcher died?? And more importantly, Margaret Thatcher was still alive??!!"
"If the Trader Joe's cashier doesn't say ""I love these"" about anything you're buying, you have to put it all back and start over. #sorrybro"
"What do you call a hooker with a runny nose? Full"
"A local theater was just robbed of $286 the other day... ...The thieves stole one large drink, a large popcorn, and a candy bar."
"New Feature exclusive to 2015/16 Chevy Trucks Magnetic Bumber; recover the parts as they fall off."
"APPLE GENIUS: how did u get so much water on the laptop [flashback to me taking my laptop into the shower so i could tweet] ME: hurricane"
"You have to hand it to Subway for convincing us it's acceptable to eat an entire loaf of bread for lunch."