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Joke of the Day

"My favorite porn website changed their header to include a breast cancer awareness ribbon, so you could say I'm somewhat of an activist."

"do you ever get a series of sharp pains like someone has a voodoo doll of you and they're viciously stabbing it? no? how about now?"

"Oprah lost a fortune in the stock market. Don't worry, she gained it all back."

"I'm not laughing AT you, I'm laughing WITH other people at you."

"I mean I married my wife for her looks, but not the dirty ones she's been giving me lately."

"Where do people with ADHD go? To concentration camps."

"What if god made periods to remind us to have anal sex at least once a month?"

"We now have TWO Wawa's by the interstate. The one on the east side of I4 is not so bad. But the other one, whoa. It's the Wawa West over there."

"Oscar I hear Oscar Pistorius is struggling in jail so far. He's not getting on too well with the food. The good news is though, he is yet to have the runs."

"My black friend asked me if there's a colored printer in the library. I said ""Shit man, it's 2015 you can use whatever printer you want!"""