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Joke of the Day

"Oprah lost a fortune in the stock market. Don't worry, she gained it all back."

"Roses are black... ...Violets are black, Everything is black, I'm Ray Charles."

"I didn't know owls were religious Until someone told me they were a bird of pray"

"What do you call a vegetarian fart? Kale force wind!"

"Cosmetology school was a real letdown. Anyone wanna buy a spacesuit?"

"How did Copernicus become the first Polish astronomer? He was the first one in the country to look up."

"I want to see a documentary about Morgan Freeman that is narrated by wild animals."

"""Wow the service here is really good"" - snail after waiting 40 mins for a Big Mac"

"some terrible part of me is perpetually close to just making and selling artisinal customized tamagotchis & bein real pretentious about it"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, he didn't get across, but he made it to the other side."