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Joke of the Day

"do you ever get a series of sharp pains like someone has a voodoo doll of you and they're viciously stabbing it? no? how about now?"

"I have a new Obama joke, but... not many people approve."

"Men think of arguments as single isolated events. Women, in my experience, think of them as installments in some sort of perpetual continuum"

"A city worker was removing a stray bar extending out in to a sidewalk at forehead level... Thousands of comedians pummeled him to death, and the jokes continued."

"A man came to my door earlier and asked for a small donation towards the town's new swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water"

"What did Drake say when he got out of the elevator?"

"A guy pissed off 7 bears and is getting chased! How do you describe the bears? Fast and Furious 7"

"Want did the Alzheimer say to the shoe?"

"The thing I don't like about Dietary Fiber is the large poops I'm also not crazy about our dog's name."

"I would pay double my Netflix subscription if Stranger Things Season 2 brought back Barb from a parallel universe who then confesses her love for Nancy. You? What would you do for a clone dyke Barb?"