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Joke of the Day

"I accidentally drank a bottle of ink. The doctor says I'll be fine, but I feel as though I've dyed inside."

"I know a good joke about hipsters. You've probably never heard it."

"Having sex with children is fucking tight."

"What happens when a vampire drinks too much? They get a fangover."

"Nothing kills a good party buzz like the paramedics showing up and acting like drama queens."

"Babies are really expensive, which is why all the ones in Babies R Us don't have price tags."

"What's Brown & Rhymes With Snoop? Dr. Dre"

"Gas companies LOVE this one trick to get more miles per tank! Buy a bigger tank!"

"I have an inferiority complex But it's a not very good one...:("

"Guys, be sensitive. Fat people have feelings too. Usually hunger, shortness of breath, insecurity and itchiness in unreachable places."