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Joke of the Day

"A little girl walks into her parents' bedroom. ""Holy F**k"" she screams ""and you want ME to see a doctor about sucking my thumb?!"""

"Bad idea? Son, I got married in my 20s. Ideas don't get any worse than that."

"I do it doggy style... as in I spin around three times before I sit on the toilet."

"ME: I wish I was a little bit taller GENIE: done M: I wish I was a baller G: done M: I wish I knew the rest of the lyrics G: done M: dammit"

"I asked my wife what women really want and she said attentive lovers. ...Or maybe she said ""a tent of lovers."" I wasn't really listening..."

"Star trek predicting future technology? How do we know apple won't be around long? Because Captain Picard uses an android."

"Are you from Idaho... Are you from Idaho cause I-da-hoe for you."

"A new species of fish have evolved to have wrists They're called metacarpals."

"A Grizzly walked into a bar... It was horrible! Many people in the bar died painful deaths, survivors of the attack said the pain was ""un-bear-able""."

"What do you call a pop star that marries Rowan Atkinson? Avril Labean"