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Joke of the Day

"ME: I wish I was a little bit taller GENIE: done M: I wish I was a baller G: done M: I wish I knew the rest of the lyrics G: done M: dammit"

"I bought my shoes from a drug dealer. I'm not sure what they're laced with, but I've been tripping all day."

"Cyclists who don't obey street signs should have to wear their google search history on a t-shirt."

"Not to brag, but Netflix recommends certain movies just for me."

"What do u give a woman who has everything? Penacilin"

"[Lions watching a romantic comedy about humans] Why doesn't he simply mount her with no apparent warning?"

"I came here to kick ass and chew gum... And I've got new, longer-lasting Stride, so we'll be here for a while."

"I surveyed 50 women on what hair product they used in the shower. I never knew there was a brand called ""how the hell did you get in here?!'"

"What do you call it when a bear makes a complete rotation on both its longitudinal and lateral axes, causing it to follow a helical path? A bearl roll."

"What do you call a group of animals who decides to kill themselves? Mass zooicide."