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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the most recent FIFA scandal? Turns out Lionel was a little Messi in his financial records."

"I like my TVs like I like my women... Smart and curved."

"What's the difference between a white woman and a tampon? They're both stuck up cunts."

"I drank 2 energy drinks to keep me aware while I drive but the only thing I'm aware of now is how many inanimate objects have jazz hands."

"I bet when scientists throw office parties, there's always the one guy who gets drunk and carbon dates his own butt."

"What do you call a Jewish vagina? The Labia menorah."

"I took a picture of the fog with my new iPhone 7.... iMist"

"Why is Helium so trustworthy? Because HE's noble."

"Why can't women read maps? Only the male mind can comprehend the concept of one inch equaling a mile."

"Marty McFly had horrible parents. Sure teenage son, hang around with the weirdo scientist who lives alone and drives a windowless truck."