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Joke of the Day

"[to an inflatable tube man waving outside a car dealership] i feel like you're overreacting. these are moderate savings at best"

"If I die before I wake, I pray the lord will clear my browsing history."

"Did you hear the joke about the pencil? There's no point."

"Did you hear about that really successful scarecrow? He is well known for being outstanding in his field."

"Britain are predicted to do well in the Pole Vault event at the Olympics this year Due to the large number of Polish people they have to practice with."

"Me: I love you..Marry Me! Burrito: I'm a Burrito..stop drinking."

"What did a cyberman say to John Smith? You will be [deleted]"

"What does a five year old and a penis have in common? If it doesn't come when you tell it to, then just beat it harder. (I am so sorry)"

"Donald trump isn't a wight supremacist... he IS an orange supremasist"

"Match dot com, but for socks."