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Joke of the Day

"What did the banana say to the vibrator? ""What are you shakin' for? Shes gonna eat me."""

"Love it how music can take you to another place . For example, One direction is playing in this restaurant so i'm going to a different one."

"Two biologists have twins. They named one Jessica, and named the other Control."

"I wish everyone would stop criticising Jimmy Savile. When I was 9, he fixed it for me to milk a cow blindfolded."

"If Italian westerns are called Spaghetti Westerns,then what are Japanese ones called? Sushi Westerns"

"Going through life totally ignorant must be the only way to find true happiness."

"If I had a dollar for every girl that turned me down... They wouldn't turn me down anymore."

"What's worse than a puppy nailed to a tree? A puppy nailed to 7 trees."

"You can learn a lot about a man based on how he responds to a bird pooping on him. Also background checks and digging thru his trash."

"What do you call a guitarist without a girlfriend? Homeless."